Take this Sabbath Day...

"How are you?" "Busy!" How often do I say that? It becomes the standard response for many of us, and something that is glorified in our culture as a sign of hard work and productivity. Yet what is the toll? In Chinese, the symbol for "busyness" joins the characters for "heart" and "killing" - an accurate portrayal of what busyness exacts from us.

I believe there is a reason God directed us to remember the Sabbath; to take a day of rest. For Lent this year, I have been attempting to understand and practice Sabbath in my life - not limiting it to one day out of the week, but trying to integrate that ethos of rest throughout my days. To guide me in that, I've been reading a great book by Mark Buchanan called "The Rest of God: Restoring Your Soul by Restoring Sabbath".

I've felt the need for this for many months now, as I've found myself almost constantly running from one thing to the next. At work there is an endless to-do list as I juggle multiple events, projects and committees - and despite working long hours it seems like I am always behind. Most days I am headed somewhere after work - dinner with friends, small group gathering, a work dinner. And even weekends seem to magically fill up, as I find myself again running from gatherings and events to church services and errands - writing papers and planning youth group lessons in between.

And while these are all good things - and things that I choose - there is little rest, little chance to pause and simply be; I must keep going to the next thing. As Buchanan puts it, "the whole experience of being alive begins to melt into one enormous obligation." That's exactly how it feels! The constant running, the constant obligations have robbed me of joy.

Buchanan talks about one of the markers of being too busy is "when we stop caring about the things we care about." When the things that used to energize and enliven us only add to our exhaustion. This has certainly been true for me. Most days, all I want to do when I get home is change into sweats, watch an episode of something and go to sleep - that's all I can seem to muster up energy for. The stack of thought-provoking books continues to sit, untouched, on my bedside table - my brain has no capacity to engage them. My yoga mat has been rolled up for weeks, because I can't make myself get up early enough to practice in the morning - and always opt for going straight to bed at night. The dishes sit in stacks in the kitchen, laundry piles up and yet I can't make myself do any of it until I absolutely have to.

What saddens me most is that my extreme busyness has left me with little to give to the people in my life who I care about. I come exhausted to dinner with friends or small group gatherings; I hibernate in my house rather than going out to talk with my neighbors; I am already in bed at 8:30pm when a friend calls to catch up. Me, the extrovert, who was always energized by people - I've become a hermit, longing for just a quiet night at home.

How can I build those quiet nights at home into my schedule; cultivate that "empty space" as a regular part of my life? How can I find a regular Sabbath rhythm that rejuvenates me and allows me to again find joy in all of these things, and to have the capacity to pour into relationships again?

I don't have all the answers yet, but I think part of it is having more days like today. I had been looking forward to today all week - the first Saturday in months when I had absolutely nothing planned; a free day, and I was going to relish it! I slept in late, enjoying the novelty of not setting an alarm. I spent time outside in the backyard, blessed by spontaneous conversations with neighbors I haven't talked to in a while. I did yoga, made myself brunch and read. I took a nap. I put on fun music to jam to while doing dishes and folding laundry. I popped over to the corner store in search of cranberry juice to make a Malibu Breeze, and got to talk to the owner who always calls me "neighbor". Everything felt good, everything felt right. 

The beauty of this Sabbath day is that I've no obligations - I could simply be, paying attention to and appreciating the simply joys around me, while also paying attention to myself. I've had the freedom of being without a schedule or plan for the day, instead slowly moving from one thing to the next by asking "What do I want or need right now?" That is Sabbath, and I am so grateful for the gift that today has been.

What Sabbath looks like :)