Life Together

Perhaps it's the nip in the air, the sudden need for extra layers or the hot beverage in hand - but the brisk entry of fall this week has brought me back to this time two years ago, when I first felt the nudge to visit New Hope. I remember it being a chilly evening in October, but immediately feeling warmed and welcomed by the people I found there. Not one to make snap decisions, I nonetheless found myself being pulled quickly and completely into this community - and whole-heartedly embracing the life together that New Hope practices.

I remember that first Sunday feeling like, finally, I was being filled - that this was a place where God was present, and was pouring into me. As I deepened my relationships there, more and more I felt that I was being poured into by the people - the Body of Christ. And what is the difference, really? God works in and through God's people, the Church, and I have felt that in very real ways. These are people who know me deeply; who encourage and cheer me on when I am taking new steps; who support and pray for me when I'm having a rough time; who welcome me to their dinner tables and into their families; who laugh with me, cry with me, drink with me...who share life with me in all of the ups and downs. I am so grateful to be part of this life together at New Hope.

And I am grateful to experience community with people in different parts of my life. My Derry Street "crew" - although not all living on Derry Street anymore - makes me laugh more than anyone else in the world, and are like family to me - loving me, quirks and all. My closest friend, who I can text when I'm having a bad day and who will take a lunch break to let me vent - and make me feel better by the end of it. My longtime roommate who I don't see as often anymore, but with whom I can still pick up right where we left off. My boss and co-workers who keep me sane, and who I could not get through the hard days at work without. My community partners who have also become friends, as we share our passions and ideas and work to eliminate racism together.

I am grateful for all of you - for the ways that you hold me up when I am falling, and cheer me on when I am striving. My people, my community is what makes my life full and meaningful. And really, isn't that what God desires for us? Isn't that what communion symbolizes? Jesus did not break the bread and pour the cup as a ritual divorced from the people around him - he shared this practice at a dinner table with those closest to him. This act symbolized how in his life, and soon in his death, he continually poured himself out for them; for us. And we are to do the same for one another. We practice communion not merely by replicating this ritual, but by practicing life together.

"And this is communion: Here, with friends, the food feeds our bodies - and the people who break the bread and share life, who pour the cup and pray with us, feed our spirits." Amen.

Photo courtesy of Jennifer Schmidt @beautyandbedlam.

Full

Friday I felt stretched to my limit - between an especially hectic day at work to end a hectic week, and the constant financial stress of figuring out how I was going to make it until my next paycheck, I was exhausted; absolutely spent, and felt like I could've burst into tears at any moment. And I had a two-hour drive ahead of me to Philly to spend the weekend with my family, which I didn't feel like I even had the energy for. To make matters worse, I had put in enough gas to get me there - or so I thought.

But stuck in traffic getting into the city, my gas light came on - and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. No gas stations in sight, and nowhere to go on the bumper-to-bumper expressway. I found myself half-praying, half trying to make deals with God: "If I can just make it off the highway...if I can just make it to the next gas station...if I can just make it home..." Regardless of the manner of my (somewhat desperate) requests, I made it to my parents' house - breathing a huge sigh of relief, and a very grateful "thank you" to God.

I had arrived on "E" in more ways than one, but the surprising thing was that this was exactly where I needed to be. I did not ask my parents to bail me out, nor even tried to explain my current situation. Yet they demonstrated an understanding that was very unexpected, and offered me just what I needed - a full tank of gas, groceries and other household things that I just haven't been able to buy, and perhaps most importantly, the peace of mind of being cared for and not having to worry for a little while.

Although family relationships have never been the easiest for me, I felt so grateful for these people who had given me life, and continue to provide for me in so many ways. It reminds me of the verse where Jesus talks about how even as a parent loves to give good gifts to their children, so much more does God love to give good gifts to us. God, through my parents, was caring for me. I had come empty, but was leaving full - a tank full of gas, a trunk full of groceries, and a heart full of love.

Full tank :) Courtesy of H3Daily.com

Grateful

Last Christmas, a friend gave me a "gratefulness journal," which I was supposed to use with special attention to things I am grateful for. I pulled it out several months later to use as a therapeutic tool, at the suggestion of my counselor. There really is something that changes inside of you when you take the time to focus on and list the things that you are grateful for. Flipping through it now, I am struck most by the entries where gratitude was found even amidst a bad day or a difficult circumstance.

It's funny how that takes me back in time, and makes me even more grateful for where I am right now. Tonight was one of those nights that I couldn't help smiling and thinking to myself, "I love my life!" Nothing extraordinary happened - just relishing a night at home, doing my dishes in my slippers, rocking out to some good tunes and spontaneously making a new recipe. But these are often the times when I get to reflect, and see anew that life is good.

My life is not perfect, far from it - there are plenty of things that make me tired or grumpy or stressed out. But there are so many things I am grateful for. I have a job that enlivens me and allows me to pursue my passions. I have the privilege of being back in school, wrestling with the big questions and learning how to change the world. I have a home that is both my refuge and a gathering place for friends. I have a crazy/wonderful cat who keeps me company. I have enough of all that I need - and often more than enough.

And most of all, my life is full of people who care about me, and who I care deeply about. Whether in far-flung places or just up the street, I feel so privileged to share life with the amazing people who are my friends, my family, my community. You inspire me, encourage me, support me and make me laugh - and for this I am eternally grateful :)

A card I received from a friend this Thanksgiving :)

A New Posture of Worship

What do you do with your hands during worship-time at church? I usually vacillate between gently beating out the tempo on the back of the pew in front of me, putting them in my back pockets if I'm wearing jeans, or occasionally lifting them up when something moves me.

Yesterday, I had a different experience. At the new church I've been attending, they offer hot beverages - and while usually only a "social" tea drinker, coming in from the bitter cold I welcomed having a steaming cup of tea to warm my hands.

As I joined in the worship time, my hands stayed wrapped around this fount of warmth, and taking the occasional sip I felt my whole body warming up. Singing words of seeking God and surrendering to God felt different from this posture - my hands were folded and still, but also open to receive and be filled. It felt as if I was offering something of myself up to God, and God was filling me in all parts of my being; symbolized by the warmth spreading throughout my body.

This gave me pause because for the first time in a long time I truly felt like I was being poured into, that I was receiving the spiritual nourishment that I hadn't even realized I'd been missing. But with a mug in my hands, I recognized that - and I was grateful.

What my hands probably looked like...
Courtesy of Beauty Haven